Having had two ‘good babies’ everybody told me that I was due for a horror child, I just laughed sure that it would never happen to me. After the first few days with this new little one I was scared, very scared, I could feel my sanity slipping away in a fog of exhaustion as sleep eluded him and therefore me. It seemed he wasn’t sleeping for any length of time day or night but that past and now we seem to have an agreement where he sleeps at night but refuses to guarantee any sleep during the day. It seems like that would be a good deal but it just leaves him cranky and irritable and needing to be held which doesn’t really work when there are two other monsters who need my attention.

When I think about it objectively I had difficult times with the others as well but in retrospect it didn’t seem like it lasted very long or was as tiring. I forgot about the hard times when they were no more and I think most of us do and that’s why we think we can handle another baby, because we are forgetful. We forget how difficult it is to get them to burp, to guess what is ailing them, to feed them, to settle them.

Babies are hard and I’m not ready to claim that I have one of ‘those babies’ instead I have a normal baby who is just struggling to adjust to being in the outside world. Perhaps I am deluding myself, frankly I can’t wait for this present to be the past,. only this time there will be no more forgetting.

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