When my kids couldn’t talk, or were only saying basic words, I couldn’t wait for them to say that they loved me. I did everything for them surely it couldn’t be that long before they reciprocated the words that I always said to them, I mean they pick up on all the bad words quickly enough why not, ‘I love you.’ And so I waited and now Wrigglebot says that he loves me all the time much to my delight except… at three o’clock in the morning.

He calls out, ‘Mummy, Mummy!’ in his loudest voice and I rush in sure that he has fallen out of bed or swallowed his pillow or been attacked by a mammoth spider, but no. He simply says, ‘Mummy, I love you.’ And at that moment he is not cute at all. I am not a loving mother. I do not want to hear ‘I love you’. I want sleep. Sometimes he changes it up, ‘Mummy, Mummy’ again I stumble half dressed into his room, ‘I’m sleeping fine,’ he says and I am angry.

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