There are some things babies learn quickly and well. One of those things is how to make sure they occasionally outsmart their parents to remind them who’s really boss.

A friend of mine recently came to visit with her two little angels. I say this without a hint of sarcasm. At my baby shower a few months ago, her two-year-old boy amused himself quietly with toys at his mum’s feet while occasionally looking around and smiling at people.

My friend arrived at the door with this two-year-old, her 5-month-old baby and with her pet labrador in tow. She asked me how Archie was doing, and I gushed about how smiley and sociable with everybody he’d become. Archie, at this point, was staring at her like a google-eyed goldfish. He continued to do this and would not be coerced into smiling despite our best tickling, funny faces and tummy-raspberrying efforts. Thank you Arch.

We spent the afternoon playing and chatting and eating and spilling things and jumping on pillows and all the other usual things women and children do when they’re alone together, until my friend suggested we go out to get dinner from the pizza shop down the road. My heart froze. I knew what this would mean…. The Pram.

Not wanting to appear overly paranoid or precious (so, a first time mother), I laughed nervously and said sure, so long as the screaming coming from my pram wouldn’t frighten her children.

We set off down the street with our matching Phil & Ted’s with the dog trotting along beside.

“Any minute now the grizzling’ll start”, I warned, “just wait for it”.

There was silence from the pram.

We got to the pizza shop. Silence from the pram.

“He probably hasn’t realised he’s on a walk just yet”, I assured her.

We took our pizza to the park. Still silence from the pram. I started to feel a tad silly. We ate our pizza and walked all the way back home.

Pure, golden silence from the pram.

When we got home, I, feeling more than a little outsmarted, looked into the pram at Archie crossly.

And he was smiling the biggest smile in the world – at the dog.

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