Support Network
Yesterday I met a young woman who was in her last trimester of her first pregnancy. Somehow we got on to the topic of Mother’s Groups. She had heard through so many of her friends and family nothing but negative feedback about these groups and had already refused to join the one at her local community centre.
I was really surprised. I personally had only really heard of groups that just didn’t connect well and slowly became smaller, and of the odd mum or two that would be the kind to rabbit on with sentences starting with “Oh but my baby can…”
So, it was my turn to provide her with positive feedback.
I joined my Mother’s Group when Milla was three weeks old. For me it was a fantastic opportunity to get out of the house, to meet new people and to learn how to properly care for my newborn.
The only issues I ever had about the group were my own – the other mothers seemed to be coping better than I was, the babies seemed to be more settled than mine, the other mothers looked beautifully dressed while I was struggling to zip up my old pants…all ridiculous thoughts I can see now.
The 14 mothers in the group are incredibly supportive and I look forward to our Meet and Play sessions each week.
Instead of bragging, we all celebrate their achievements, even if other babies had achieved a particular milestone before Milla (which always seems to be the case with my gorgeous little sack of potatoes) everyone would cheer and encourage regardless.
I am fortunate to be part of a support network that helps to keep me sane as a new mum.
If you have the opportunity to join a group like this, don’t dismiss it automatically. Give it a try. Like me, you may end up meeting other women and children who will be life-long companions.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I completely agree with you. After the first few months the isolation hits when you realise it is just you at home and all your friends are still at work, your life is just different now and you need people to talk with who are going through the same things. I used to think that I had already made most of my closest friends in life, after kids I realised I was very wrong, now some of my closest friends are those I met through my mothers group three years ago.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:40 am
So true – as connected as you stay to your childless friends, you also need people who understand your life because they’re going through the same things themselves.
I’m sure there are elements of personality involved with the mums groups too, which is possibly why some groups really click while others peter out. But you won’t know if you don’t give it a go.