Summer is coming and to mark the occasion Husband has pulled his beloved Hawaiian shirt out of the wardrobe. Now this is no ordinary shirt, it has powers, hypnotising powers. First let me describe it, to say this shirt is loud is an understatement, it is as if each colour has been turned up to maximum volume and together they shout unceasingly at you, oh and it also has pretty fish swimming on it.

Now let me give you an example of its power. This morning I was changing Wrigglebot’s nappy and Squirm, as she does, started crawling all over him, pulling his hair, gouging his eyes; you know the normal sisterly actions of affection. ‘Husband,’ I yelled, ‘Just get her away so I can do this.’ He proceeded to move her one metre away, she can move that distance as fast as you can blink so I was a little skeptical but Husband just stood there. Squirm looked at him, he pulled no face, didn’t talk to her yet she continued looking on and on and on, Wrigglebot joined in on the action and stared at the shirt too. It was amazing, there are some powers that you don’t believe unless you see them in action, this is one of those.

And so though I do hate the shirt and I am ashamed to be seen in public walking next to the shirt and I feel like I need my sunglasses on just to hang it on the line, if Husband isn’t home and isn’t coming home for a while and nobody else is coming around and there are no door-to-door sales people in the neighbourhood, then maybe, just maybe I might slip the shirt on and harness the power.

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