After weeks like I have had I think that if there was a way to resign from motherhood I would do it. Squirm is teething, Wrigglebot is tantrumming (just made up that word meaning in the act of continually having a tantrum) and I am just trying to survive. There is no way that anybody would volunteer for the job that I have with the work conditions I have; no designated lunch break, a full 12 hour day followed by 12 hours of being on call, no weekends, public holidays or annual leave, and if that’s not enough you have to commit to the job for at least 18 years before going part-time and lets not even talk about the pay.
But, you say, what about job satisfaction? Well at the moment I’m still waiting, don’t get me wrong I like hugs and going to story time and having tea-parties but most of the time tantrums and demands are what my day consist of. Let’s take the other day for example; Squirm was asleep, it was cold so we couldn’t go outside so I thought Wrigglebot and I would have a treat and make pancakes together for lunch. That all went fine except afterwards he wanted to eat all of them all at once. I explained that he couldn’t and tantrums ensued. And I thought why do I bother? And then I thought if only I knew that he was appreciating everything I was doing then I could continue on in a better mind-frame, but I get no thankyous. I change Squirm’s nappies ten times a day and she never say, ‘I’m really glad you are doing that for me Mum.’ Nope, in fact she just tries to escape.
And so I would belatedly like to say to my Mum, ‘Thankyou.’ Thankyou for changing my nappies and taking me for walks, for pushing me on the swings and letting me watch ‘Pete the Dragon’, thankyou for dressing me and feeding me and reading to me, thankyou for tucking me into bed and for letting me snuggle into your bed when I wet mine. If I could go back in time and force my six month old lips to say thankyou I would but I can’t and so somewhat vicariously I say thankyou to you hoping that one day Wrigglebot and Squirm will say thankyou to me.